What Does the Bible Say About Complaining? And How Laments Differ

Scripture's attitude to complaining looks contradictory at first: Israel's grumbling in the wilderness is treated severely, while the psalms are full of complaint and were kept in the canon.

Where the line falls is the only thing worth sorting out here.

The wilderness complaints

In Exodus and Numbers, grumbling is a running thread: no water (Ex 15:24), no meat (Ex 16:3), fear of the Canaanites (Num 14:2).

Numbers 14:2 is the clearest example: "Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in this wilderness!"

Paul later names it: "Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer" (1 Cor 10:10).

Do all things without murmurings and disputings.Philippians 2:14 (KJV)

The complaints in the psalms

Open the psalms, though, and the density of complaint is higher:

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Ps 22:1)
"How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD?" (Ps 13:1)
"O God, why hast thou cast us off for ever?" (Ps 74:1)

These were not only kept — they became the congregation's songs.

The line is direction

Set the two groups side by side and the difference is plain:

The wilderness complaints are said to each other. "The people murmured against Moses" — horizontal, and their effect is to spread discontent and unsettle the group.

The psalm complaints are said to God. Vertical, and addressed to the very one being complained about.

The same words spoken to God are prayer; spoken behind his back they are murmuring.

A second difference: the ending

The lament psalms nearly always turn — not because the problem resolved but because the speaker turned inside it (Ps 13:5).

The wilderness complaints never turn; they escalate — water, then meat, then "let us return to Egypt", and finally "let us make a captain" (Num 14:4).

One question to test it

If you are unsure whether you are praying or complaining, ask:

"Who am I saying this to?"

If the answer is God, then however rough the wording, scripture has plenty of precedent. If the answer is "anyone who will listen", it is probably the other thing.

What about Philippians 2:14?

"Do all things without murmurings and disputings" — note the context: the preceding verses are about relationships inside the church, with 2:3 warning against strife and vainglory.

What Paul forbids is the corrosive kind that circulates in a group, not telling God how hard something is.

Read Numbers 14 beside Psalm 13 in the BiblePro app — the same kind of words in hardship, pointed in opposite directions. And do look for a local church to read alongside others.